दुनिया की मनमानी से 

रोज़ की आना कानी से 

बंद दरवाज़ों से 

खुले वीरानों से 

दूर, बहुत दूर 

इक छोटी सी खिड़की थी 

उस छोटी सी खिड़की से 

झाँका तो तुम दिखी 

नलके की टप टप से 

सुबह सुबह की सरपट से 

कागज़ से, कलम से 

कोल्ड कॉफ़ी की ज़रुरत से 

दूर, बहुत दूर 

इक छोटी सी खिड़की थी 

उस छोटी सी खिड़की से

झाँका तो तुम दिखी 

भीड़ में गूंजते ठहाकों के 

नींद झपकती आँखों के 

चुपके चुपके बातों के 

ख्वाबों की मीठी शुरुवातों के 

पास, बहुत पास 

इक छोटी सी खिड़की थी 

उस छोटी सी खिड़की से

झाँका तो तुम मिल गयी 

*Artwork Credits: Salvador Dalí (1904-1989). Woman at the Window at Figueres, 1926. Oil on board. 41 x 29 in. (104 x 73.7 cm). Gala-Salvador Dalí Foundation, Figueres, Spain.

A Place of Truth

When all else falls away-
Defences, masks, the need for words,
or even polite conversation.
Nothing remains but
Raw sensation
Serendipitious drops of experience
Purity
Honesty
Unabashed desire

When all else falls away-
Leaving you naked
With no corners to hide in
Even under your own skin

Chaotic. Complete.
Frenzied. Peaceful.
Scary. Joyful.
Like you as you know yourself have come to an end
Only to be born again

When all else falls away-
Nothing remains but
A Place Of Truth.

Of Mergers and Apartness- II

I said : Do you ever feel like there's always two people in a relationship, no matter how fused they seem? Does it leave you feeling disheartened too? Sometimes no walls within can mean no walls without too. It's scary. Why do all of us crave fusion and union when separateness is what defines us? Union can sometimes cause the delusion of sameness. Yet, union can only happen between two separate entities. If they were the same, how could they possibly unite? And yet, once united, they want to be thought of as being the same. Silly, silly entities.

She said: Fusing in moments I have experienced. Unison- in thought. Glances that know the inside and outside. But have always wondered about total surrender. Instead of keeping my identity and fusing, how about giving up mine? And I have felt total surrender at one time. And felt bigger than my own self. Because I did not exist in any recognisable form. It didn't last. Very long. 

'Wonder'ings

I get up from my seat, knock on your door, and wait for you to answer.

Maybe you’ll open the door and raise your eyebrows in wonder that it’s me.  But being your polite self, ask me to come in and sit down anyway. For a few minutes, none of us will know what to say. We’ll hem and haw and I’ll ask if you’re too busy to go out and get a drink. You’ll raise your eyebrows again. But say, of course you’re not, let’s go. We’ll drive in silence, still not knowing quite what to say. I’ll probably order the house wine and you your Long Island Iced Tea.  Between sips and painfully deliberated upon smatterings of awkward conversation, maybe I will feel bold enough to put my hand on your knee. You’ll probably raise your eyebrows again. Only slightly this time.

I get up from my seat, knock on your door, and wait for you to answer.

Maybe you’ll open the door and raise your eyebrows in wonder that it’s me.  Maybe you’ll wait at the door, you wondering if you need to let me in, and me wondering whether, in fact, you will. Maybe the wait will be long enough to make my last dregs of courage melt away and I will borrow a coaster and walk away. 

On Being Read To

Following the crests and troughs of your voice
Along a road unfamiliar
Yet wondrous,
I follow where you lead me.

Of Mergers and Apartness

So near, so far
So there, yet here, too

My chaos
Your calm
Your madness
My peace

Churn in a whirlpool of silence

Around and around
Ending where it began
Beginning where it just about ended

So us
So me and you again

So indistinguishably yours
So painfully othered

Merging in a striking blur of apartness
Joining in limb and soul

So near, so far
So there, yet here, too

Disembodied, yet part of you
Me, yet you, too.

Synapse

The start of another beginning before the end of an end
Upward and onward is the only way you go


In your smooth, synaptein existence
No jolts, no jerks, no possibility of a void


No stops,
Just an endless head-rushing ride


And as we come to the fag end of this one,
You begin to panic, but-


“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll just find something new.
That’s what you’ve always done, haven’t you?”

Bon Voyage- um, really?

Last night, while clearing up old texts on my old phone, I chanced upon the following:

Gushingly-in-love texts
Happy-two-day-anniversary-texts
Happy-new-year-from-both-of-us texts

Pop-the-question texts
Your-family-versus-my-family (read gurr...) texts
Let's-just-forget-about-the-whole-goddamn-thing texts
Pre-wedding tremors
Post-wedding thank-you's to friends


Thanks-for-making-the-bed texts
Remember-to-make-the-bed-please texts
How-hard-is-it-to-fuckin'-remember-to-make-the-bed? texts

Happy-one-year-anniversary texts
Sorry-I-forgot-our-two-year-anniversary texts


All in all, a frustratingly well-worth-it journey!

Image Courtesy: http://images.tribe.net/

   

Disembodied, yet part of you.

   Me, yet you, too.

-Conversations 'tween Chipmunks, Book 1.

Resonance

I don’t want my pieces mended
What comforts me is that you’ve been broken too

Jagged edges and blurred lines-
I’m a jigsaw of them all.
I don’t want the pieces to fit perfectly
What matters is they make sense to you

When shadows criss-cross all around us
What matters is you can still see through

And as we lie on a bed of splintered bits and shards
All that matters is that I lie here with you.